today is my last day of class.......... this was the worst way to spend $400.00 that I could have ever imagined, i could have....bought an awesome purse instead...(or several nice purses and some shoes) yet... how would i ever live without all this amazingly interesting knowledge about cement mixtures...... psi strength.... and fly ash.....
honestly concrete was so much more fascinating when i didnt know anything about it..... i feel like the magician just shared all of his secrets with me .......!
i guess one good thing that came out of the semester of "graduate" school...... i picked the right major the first time.... oh wait, 2 good things..... i have a tax deduction next year.
jubilation.
21.4.08
islander fun.....
so.....another eventful islander event took place today in arizona...... good times...
the women's islander fellowship volleyball tournament fundraiser (i have yet to hear what exactly they were "raising" money for..... it was worth the $5 dollars ...especially when your dad is your team sponsor...thanks dad...and U-first Financial) took place tonight......directly after another nightmarish day of "corrupting children's minds." (I'm just going to leave that one alone).
so..... here is the trophy in its brand-new habitat....my dining room side table! (yea....my team didnt win..but my cousins did and so....we have the trophy...im so proud!!!!)
i was glad to be there even though my team got eliminated in the first round.... the kids got to see me in a different environment/element and i think they can appreciate me a little more.....same with the rest of my ginormous extended family
and i am starting to learn everyone's name.... "clan" to which they belong....(clan as in: mesa, the stapley's, phoenix, dobson ranch etc....we talk about our families according to what area of phoenix they live in now....neat huh?) what island they are originally from (which usually correlates with clan) and how they are related to me (if at all really).... um.... how do you say information overload in micronesian???!!!!
im so thankful for these opportunities to be part of their world.....as frustrating sometimes as the cultural differences can be (i will leave that for some other blog sometime...there are just some things that i will never understand) they indisputably know what it means to be a family through the good, bad, funny, sad and unimaginable (to most americans anyway) drama.
When it comes down to it, what is more important than that anyway? They are a really good reality check. I hope someday that i can be immersed in a group of friends and family just like them.......i hope that the closest people to me will handle the crazy, angry, ridiculous, idiotic, parts of me because they can't live without the good parts of me either ......
the women's islander fellowship volleyball tournament fundraiser (i have yet to hear what exactly they were "raising" money for..... it was worth the $5 dollars ...especially when your dad is your team sponsor...thanks dad...and U-first Financial) took place tonight......directly after another nightmarish day of "corrupting children's minds." (I'm just going to leave that one alone).
so..... here is the trophy in its brand-new habitat....my dining room side table! (yea....my team didnt win..but my cousins did and so....we have the trophy...im so proud!!!!)i was glad to be there even though my team got eliminated in the first round.... the kids got to see me in a different environment/element and i think they can appreciate me a little more.....same with the rest of my ginormous extended family
and i am starting to learn everyone's name.... "clan" to which they belong....(clan as in: mesa, the stapley's, phoenix, dobson ranch etc....we talk about our families according to what area of phoenix they live in now....neat huh?) what island they are originally from (which usually correlates with clan) and how they are related to me (if at all really).... um.... how do you say information overload in micronesian???!!!!
im so thankful for these opportunities to be part of their world.....as frustrating sometimes as the cultural differences can be (i will leave that for some other blog sometime...there are just some things that i will never understand) they indisputably know what it means to be a family through the good, bad, funny, sad and unimaginable (to most americans anyway) drama.
When it comes down to it, what is more important than that anyway? They are a really good reality check. I hope someday that i can be immersed in a group of friends and family just like them.......i hope that the closest people to me will handle the crazy, angry, ridiculous, idiotic, parts of me because they can't live without the good parts of me either ......
17.4.08
book idea #1
while my mind was wandering during bible study tonight i thought it would be great to compile a collection of different christian's experience of god's "randomness"...... i like to call it his randomness.....
i just seem to hear everyone (pastor....aunt....friends....myself...bf) share these stories of random events that mean nothing to them but end up turning into or leading to some kind of life changing experience and can only be seen in hind-sight..... and most of them are really good....sometimes humorous... i think we can all relate
you think anyone would read that? would you read that? or is it too...... chicken-soup-for-the-soul like ??? (a lot of people read those though.....right?)
anyway, im only posting this now bc it came back to my mind at this very moment and i am recording it somewhere that i wont misplace or throw away :)
i just seem to hear everyone (pastor....aunt....friends....myself...bf) share these stories of random events that mean nothing to them but end up turning into or leading to some kind of life changing experience and can only be seen in hind-sight..... and most of them are really good....sometimes humorous... i think we can all relate
you think anyone would read that? would you read that? or is it too...... chicken-soup-for-the-soul like ??? (a lot of people read those though.....right?)
anyway, im only posting this now bc it came back to my mind at this very moment and i am recording it somewhere that i wont misplace or throw away :)
16.4.08
ok ok ......
i know i ranted about junk emails....but this one i had to put in and it was one of those "forward to 5 people" ones too........ ugh :
Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.
Remind us that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together
Remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
If you send this to 5 people, then you have a chance to touch 5 people.
Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.
Remind us that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together
Remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
If you send this to 5 people, then you have a chance to touch 5 people.
prayer answered
just returned from a great time with some new friends (although i still want the the 2 hours of my life back wasted on watching time bandits....)
a long time ago i vaguely remember praying and hoping that i could find a church and meet new christian friends to fellowship with...... and tonight i realize thats exactly what has happened... coming home at 2:30 in the morning back then meant a lot of bad things, but not anymore
not much else to say, i heard a great song on the way home in the car (isnt it great when the radio seems to be playing the soundtrack of your life at the exact right moments??) about letting your words be few and just being in awe of jesus
thats exactly how i feel, i just want to enjoy this sense of overwhelming love and power that has completely changed my life
a long time ago i vaguely remember praying and hoping that i could find a church and meet new christian friends to fellowship with...... and tonight i realize thats exactly what has happened... coming home at 2:30 in the morning back then meant a lot of bad things, but not anymore
not much else to say, i heard a great song on the way home in the car (isnt it great when the radio seems to be playing the soundtrack of your life at the exact right moments??) about letting your words be few and just being in awe of jesus
thats exactly how i feel, i just want to enjoy this sense of overwhelming love and power that has completely changed my life
14.4.08
i am a sunday school teacher??
i never thought that sunday school teacher would ever be a way to describe me at any point in my life....... ppl who know me and my lack of affection for kids sometimes....you can stop laughing now.......
today was my first attempt at running a sunday school class (i say attempt because i can humbly say that there was not much accomplished)...the "islander" side of my family holds their own church service in their own language(s) conveniently at the church i happen to attend every sunday "after hours" i like to cleverly call it......
anyway, my very generous aunt becky normally teaches, and its a huge job because there are many kids ranging from ages 4 -12...... complete chaos is the best way to help you visualize this, she's taking a break for the summer...... and now i understand why :)
i dont really want to sound so negative....i mean even though the minute it started i couldnt wait for it to be over..... i enjoyed myself... just trying to get to know them and observe them...feel them out.....i even made a new friend...i mean a kid actually sat by me and hugged me today. thats odd to me, but very satisfying and good to my soul
i pray that these kids will continue to bless me and that this proves to be part of gods plan for me i have so much love in me for them i could burst.......it is difficult for me to imagine somehow conveying this to them by teaching... and reaching them and being a part of their walk with him
the people pleasing part of me just wants to be cool and fun and have everyone like me......!
on a completely different tangent...... i had someone make a comment to me this morning that i was helping to corrupt the minds of children..... it happened so quickly that i was completely at a loss for words.....this is a woman i interact with frequently and have always respected....
im kind of disappointed that i had nothing bold to say....nothing at all........ it also made me realize that i really do have to use every minute of my life to reflect christ in me, to everyone around me....
*very big sigh* my head hurts now that it has dawned on me how many people i know and see and interact with regularly that i never would have pegged as "people that need jesus" (haha....... that sounds so old school southern baptist) but dont truely have him in their lives.....
today was my first attempt at running a sunday school class (i say attempt because i can humbly say that there was not much accomplished)...the "islander" side of my family holds their own church service in their own language(s) conveniently at the church i happen to attend every sunday "after hours" i like to cleverly call it......
anyway, my very generous aunt becky normally teaches, and its a huge job because there are many kids ranging from ages 4 -12...... complete chaos is the best way to help you visualize this, she's taking a break for the summer...... and now i understand why :)
i dont really want to sound so negative....i mean even though the minute it started i couldnt wait for it to be over..... i enjoyed myself... just trying to get to know them and observe them...feel them out.....i even made a new friend...i mean a kid actually sat by me and hugged me today. thats odd to me, but very satisfying and good to my soul
i pray that these kids will continue to bless me and that this proves to be part of gods plan for me i have so much love in me for them i could burst.......it is difficult for me to imagine somehow conveying this to them by teaching... and reaching them and being a part of their walk with him
the people pleasing part of me just wants to be cool and fun and have everyone like me......!
on a completely different tangent...... i had someone make a comment to me this morning that i was helping to corrupt the minds of children..... it happened so quickly that i was completely at a loss for words.....this is a woman i interact with frequently and have always respected....
im kind of disappointed that i had nothing bold to say....nothing at all........ it also made me realize that i really do have to use every minute of my life to reflect christ in me, to everyone around me....
*very big sigh* my head hurts now that it has dawned on me how many people i know and see and interact with regularly that i never would have pegged as "people that need jesus" (haha....... that sounds so old school southern baptist) but dont truely have him in their lives.....
9.4.08
im addicted to the internet
cool game at discovery.com
my new favorite song...
if you watch Lost.... this game can be time consuming .... didnt really think the results were that great though.... but the combinations are endless
i want to go here and here .....and here ......AND here (again)
my eyes hurt.....im going to attempt to fall asleep now.........
my new favorite song...
if you watch Lost.... this game can be time consuming .... didnt really think the results were that great though.... but the combinations are endless
i want to go here and here .....and here ......AND here (again)
my eyes hurt.....im going to attempt to fall asleep now.........
am i going to fast for you?
sorry if i am.... but i have accidentally gotten myself back on my "nocturnal" schedule... and for reasons not to be explained i am currently banned from facebook......
my only outlets left are myspace (not as cool as facebook), watching shows on abc.om or fox.com (already caught up on EVERYTHING that i like to watch and not interested in adding another show the list to follow up on) , or surfing through handful of religion related sites....... which brings me to my post....
This site....bugs the crap out of me....and there is no place to comment (aka argue and challenge) what they say......I found it from those "ads by Google" things, you know the creepy ones that always know the key words related to the sites you surf or emails that you get.... and the headers/titles always relate to stuff you are interested in.... technology is amazing sometimes.
And also stupid... i mean if i clicked it how many other ppl are reading this crap..... and 1)believe it or 2) associate it with all christianity ...... i actually liked it at first until i kept reading..... :(
anyway, go to link if u have time..... its pretty long winded and not easy on the eye to read.... and they even have some cool bios of ppl like william penn..... haha quakers........ bc they seem to have outlasted the test of time.....
thats all....i will be up for much longer im sure, so maybe i will post more interesting sites i find ?
who knows! :)
Oh, and just for the record..... Hall V Worthington.... you are nuts!!!
my only outlets left are myspace (not as cool as facebook), watching shows on abc.om or fox.com (already caught up on EVERYTHING that i like to watch and not interested in adding another show the list to follow up on) , or surfing through handful of religion related sites....... which brings me to my post....
This site....bugs the crap out of me....and there is no place to comment (aka argue and challenge) what they say......I found it from those "ads by Google" things, you know the creepy ones that always know the key words related to the sites you surf or emails that you get.... and the headers/titles always relate to stuff you are interested in.... technology is amazing sometimes.
And also stupid... i mean if i clicked it how many other ppl are reading this crap..... and 1)believe it or 2) associate it with all christianity ...... i actually liked it at first until i kept reading..... :(
anyway, go to link if u have time..... its pretty long winded and not easy on the eye to read.... and they even have some cool bios of ppl like william penn..... haha quakers........ bc they seem to have outlasted the test of time.....
thats all....i will be up for much longer im sure, so maybe i will post more interesting sites i find ?
who knows! :)
Oh, and just for the record..... Hall V Worthington.... you are nuts!!!
8.4.08
bragging rights
(i know 3 times in one day..... im on a role...technically its the next day now though...)
just a short time for me to express how extremely proud i am of myself tonight....and all bc of college basketball....strange i know.....
for anyone who doesnt know, i dont follow basketball...unless the suns are in the playoffs (yes i enjoy the band-wagon occasionally) but my bf on the other hand is basically obsessed with following it ....more so the UofA (*cough u of lame*) mens team and so he makes me fill out the NCAA Tournament brackets with him in order to humiliate my lack of knowledge .... Well this year I have completely surprised myself and beat him.....!
i will admit we started late and i did get a couple freebies in the first round.. (he wouldnt let me get away with not sharing that info) but my strategy really was all guessing.... and which city i thought would be more fun to visit..... and thanks to some random caller that called into the radio station i listen to and cheered about how great Kansas was doing this year...... I chose them going .....all...the...way.......(not so random now was it...hmm)
Yay to me .... I WIN...sweet sweet victory and bragging rights for life..... :) :) :)
just a short time for me to express how extremely proud i am of myself tonight....and all bc of college basketball....strange i know.....
for anyone who doesnt know, i dont follow basketball...unless the suns are in the playoffs (yes i enjoy the band-wagon occasionally) but my bf on the other hand is basically obsessed with following it ....more so the UofA (*cough u of lame*) mens team and so he makes me fill out the NCAA Tournament brackets with him in order to humiliate my lack of knowledge .... Well this year I have completely surprised myself and beat him.....!
i will admit we started late and i did get a couple freebies in the first round.. (he wouldnt let me get away with not sharing that info) but my strategy really was all guessing.... and which city i thought would be more fun to visit..... and thanks to some random caller that called into the radio station i listen to and cheered about how great Kansas was doing this year...... I chose them going .....all...the...way.......(not so random now was it...hmm)
Yay to me .... I WIN...sweet sweet victory and bragging rights for life..... :) :) :)
7.4.08
adventures in yard-sale-ing
so being in the financial situation i am(i guess you have to have money to have a financial situation right??) i thought it would be great to join my family in selling my old junk that i no longer enjoy to other people from the comforts of our front yard.
all i have to say is that i would rather donate all of it and be done with it......No i would rather not sell my old lucky jeans for nothing... its heartbreaking. Plus I have so much junk its not worth the hours spent pricing all of it.
And then there's my mom, whose point of view is that she just wants to get rid of it...therefore all of her items were basically going for 25 cents..... (um hello the tax write off would be more rewarding)
I was extremely jealous of my sister-in-law because she actually had the good stuff that people wanted.... furniture, baby clothes, toys.... those at least are things to take pride in! I dont own any of those things.... i mean really i am the type of person that needs to be shopping at yard sales!
the upside to the weekend..... hanging with the ladies of my family and drinking starbucks....oh and i kept my moms old belt she was going to sell....what a fool....its so back in style now!
other highlights included...benjamin trying to sell all the kids his cool toys "from when i was a baby"..... the one old man who tried to bargain on EVERYTHING.....( i mean really you cant spare the 50 cents mr i pulled up in a cadilac) and the best of all my mom:
"Yard sales are awkward...its like people are afraid to let me know they dont want my junk....like they are going to hurt my feelings or something.... but i dont like it either...thats why im selling it"
if anyone is interested i will be at it again this weekend..... lots of my shoes are going for just $1.00!
P.S.
I ended up not selling my old lucky jeans....and I am actually wearing them right now...!
all i have to say is that i would rather donate all of it and be done with it......No i would rather not sell my old lucky jeans for nothing... its heartbreaking. Plus I have so much junk its not worth the hours spent pricing all of it.
And then there's my mom, whose point of view is that she just wants to get rid of it...therefore all of her items were basically going for 25 cents..... (um hello the tax write off would be more rewarding)
I was extremely jealous of my sister-in-law because she actually had the good stuff that people wanted.... furniture, baby clothes, toys.... those at least are things to take pride in! I dont own any of those things.... i mean really i am the type of person that needs to be shopping at yard sales!
the upside to the weekend..... hanging with the ladies of my family and drinking starbucks....oh and i kept my moms old belt she was going to sell....what a fool....its so back in style now!
other highlights included...benjamin trying to sell all the kids his cool toys "from when i was a baby"..... the one old man who tried to bargain on EVERYTHING.....( i mean really you cant spare the 50 cents mr i pulled up in a cadilac) and the best of all my mom:
"Yard sales are awkward...its like people are afraid to let me know they dont want my junk....like they are going to hurt my feelings or something.... but i dont like it either...thats why im selling it"
if anyone is interested i will be at it again this weekend..... lots of my shoes are going for just $1.00!
P.S.
I ended up not selling my old lucky jeans....and I am actually wearing them right now...!
being a "therefore" christian
sooooooo where to begin tonight? i have (since my last post) come to realize that it can be a very beautiful thing to be broken.
i was very wrong in my statement.... it is not sad that all i have is jesus. It is an amazing thing (so amazing that i cant really even begin to comprehend) that all i really need is jesus. thats it..... just him... nothing and no one else. I cant continue to rely on other things and other people to validate my life......
i think this is a big steps towards him, that i have been very hesitant to take. But like i have said before, the more i ignore something the bigger it gets and tends to sneak up on me eventually.
i have had a new concept presented to me about being a "therefore" christian..... very good way to look at life. it was presented to me using psalm 46 (considering my presenter, there are most likely more places the concept can be used...)
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
and the mountains quake with their surging.
anywho.... the version i was presented was much longer :) i just wanted to give a heads up to all two of my readers that i am in a better place now.... and thank them for their good thoughts!
i was very wrong in my statement.... it is not sad that all i have is jesus. It is an amazing thing (so amazing that i cant really even begin to comprehend) that all i really need is jesus. thats it..... just him... nothing and no one else. I cant continue to rely on other things and other people to validate my life......
i think this is a big steps towards him, that i have been very hesitant to take. But like i have said before, the more i ignore something the bigger it gets and tends to sneak up on me eventually.
i have had a new concept presented to me about being a "therefore" christian..... very good way to look at life. it was presented to me using psalm 46 (considering my presenter, there are most likely more places the concept can be used...)
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
and the mountains quake with their surging.
basically..... being a "therefore" christian is putting into action our knowledge/trust/faith in god. yea, god is always there and he is all i need.... but it doesnt stop there.... because of those things (or therefore) my actions/life should reflect those things that i know and believe
anywho.... the version i was presented was much longer :) i just wanted to give a heads up to all two of my readers that i am in a better place now.... and thank them for their good thoughts!5.4.08
tonight = lame
ok.... i might as well be honest and say the past 4 months = SUPER LAME
i want the feeling back when i had a renewed spirit that was excited for everyday..... so much has attacked my soul...my life...my mind....my heart...my self esteem...my body.... every aspect of my life is completely drained...completely confusing....completely MESSED UP
just for fun...here is an illustration of the above...
i always felt like none of that ever mattered as long as i kept my eyes on Him.... right?? good christians dont need anything except their faith...their relationship with god...he is everything....thats all you need ...etc etc
yea...*rolling my eyes right now* except that its not right to have not one real physical strong hold in your life, some person who completely loves you....unconditionally...completely.....WITH ACTIONS and knows you......cares about you.....thinks about you......
someone who is dependable....and always there for you no matter what....wants to share their life with you... doesnt just TELL YOU these things but ACTUALLY does them................
i have ONE.... yes just ONE person that is all of those things to me....jesus
and its truely amazing .....but at the same time (especially tonight) totally heartbreaking............ that i have one constant in life and i cant even see him, other than him i feel completely alone
2.4.08
junk mail
just a notice....i absolutely hate the following junk email:
ok...ranting finished, what i really wanted to do was share this email that i insisted my roomie's mom forward to me. its extremely relevant to the current "theme" of my house (me and my 3 female roommates) .... at least its relevant to my personal point of view:
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages/fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
- 10 million best friend/religious/advice/wisdom quotes (YES! I have read them all... none of them ever say anything new EVER)
- attempts to create awareness for some sick kid/about a new law/money winning contest/my email service is going to drop me (email is not the way to go about ANY of those things)
- support our troops crap (not that i dont support them...just i dont care to see it in my email with animations of american flags and little bears in army camo set to patriotic tunes)
- inappropriate pictures or animations (at one time, yes, even I enjoyed these.... not anymore...what can I say...God purifies you)
- "forward this or else" or "see who your real friends are" messages (nothing is going to happen to you and i already know who my real friends are...thank you)
- funny jokes (funny is the key word...please think before you add my name to the forward list)
- links to interesting articles/websites (interesting is the key word...see side note above
ok...ranting finished, what i really wanted to do was share this email that i insisted my roomie's mom forward to me. its extremely relevant to the current "theme" of my house (me and my 3 female roommates) .... at least its relevant to my personal point of view:
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages/fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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